Thursday, March 28, 2013

Pain Serves As A Heavy Burden

In a world were there's nowhere left to belong
My mind doesn't understand the right from wrong
The words feel empty inside this broken song
Because by night my train of thought grows so long

The struggle starts as my mind begins to shift back
I'm looking down as I fall through this crack
Reaching at the rope pulling only catching more slack
My grip breaks away like a worn out tack

Fighting for a breath of air, I was victim to no lust
Instead I lay here broken, a victim to unjust
I alone lie as keeper to my trust
Surrounded by parasites tearing away at me like rust

Every feeling hardened by lonesome character
Through it all may my soul resist to tear
I'll take the weight and throw it upon my shoulders to bear
As I reverse it's intensity and it carries me through the air




Friday, March 22, 2013

Define Me

By heart, A writer
Known to some a lover
By fewer yet, a fighter
Words used to make the bad, right
Some captured by my loves might
While anger confuses wrong from right

Rips sewn to hold me tighter
Hate consumes me as a cover
I move to fist only slighter
Words come to me as natural as sight
With passion may my rage ignite
Fighting only when I have no light



Tuesday, January 29, 2013

This hate urges on like a freight train
Riding shotgun to my thoughts is the pain
Brought on by your dishonest action
Realize now that for every action is a reaction
A reaction of biblical proportions stirs inside
Emotions breaking through, no longer will they hide

You will remain made an example from this affliction
Who you said you were and what you've done, a contradiction
No longer will I stand by so indolently
I can only wish your life become a true melancholy 
Misfortune casted on me by you, won't go without reprisal
Your memory will no longer live on as an idol



Tuesday, January 15, 2013

What Would It Be Like?

       Ever felt so curious about what it would be like to die? Ever experienced a moment with the most perplexed curiosity about life and death. I know I have, not during the moments I was sad or angry, instead when life was good, and I was happy. I never once considered doing anything, just thought about what it would feel like, where I would go.
       I was born with an incredibly open mind regarding life, and the afterlife, in general.  I only think about it when my life is where I want it to be, because if I do go, that's how I wanna go. I'm a happy person with "dull" periods in my life. Periods where it's not as easy getting out of bed. I'm regarded as a very happy-go-lucky person, I can't think about it when others have a different outlook on me.
      How could I imagine leaving when, I'm not really at a good point in life? You never know what could happen, or when the decision has been made about your departure. Be prepared, make sure at any moment your at peace with your mistakes and the world around you.
      I love to think the afterlife when I'm happy because it's so fascinating, I'm always living a few steps ahead of myself. It's never to soon to think about it. My curiosity can't resist, am I reincarnated? Do I just die? Will I go to heaven?
      Not sure why, but death has always seemed to spark some sort of philosophical curiosity inside me. I've always found it entertaining to think about, have you?

Monday, January 14, 2013

When I die

       How do you wanna be remembered when you die?
       Everyone feels the need to bolt around in an attempt to satisfy people who don't really matter to them. Wether it's a boss, colleague, neighbor or even a "friend", if your have to work THAT hard they don't matter. Don't deny the fact that you do it, EVERYONE does, myself included.
      You can never cut that desire out of your life completely, society has shoved it down our throats, and everyone just seems to "accept" it so lazily. I'm not here to tell you its horrible that you could ever accept things you don't agree with, I'm here to say sometimes it's okay to resist, or question them.
       I hear people who say they don't care what people think, but they do, or else they wouldn't have any secrets courageously protected.  Now that I've stated that, I want to move on the question I asked at the beginning of this post. When you leave the world are you gonna be another duplicate caught up in societies threshold?
      If you answered no, then make a change, don't just change the things you do or why you do them. You have to change your whole outlook on life and it's meaning to YOU. Who cares what it means to anyone else but you, because it's your life and you should feel free to live it how you want. Because the people that can do that, those people, those are the people that are remembered. 
      I say that casually but there is much more meaning behind it. When I say life's meaning to you, that doesn't mean disregard others outlook. It means you hold yours at the absolute highest regard, and learn from how they live. Think about how they live, question it and how making similar decisions in your life may alter your it.
      If you don't like what your hearing right now, feel free to scroll to the top left of the screen and press the exit button. I'm not here to please you, or anyone else for that matter. Don't like what I hear? Good, maybe I'm pushing that little button, society overlooks, that is a satisfying feeling I must say. Maybe, it means I'm moving you and telling you something you just don't wanna accept. I'm only here to attempt inspire my audience, even if it's only person. 
       Don't wait to make the change, because before you realize it's to late. You have too much to lose, if you step to far out on that limb and it breaks you have nothing. So instead of making the change when you have something, make it when you have nothing. If you already have something, then make it before you have more to lose.
       For example, look at where I stand in life, seventeen halfway through my senior year of high school. Now, I could go to college, get a business degree, and work in an office making money. Life is just around the corner for me, so much lies in store. Problem is I live in little Small Town, USA, now how could I know what I truly want to do, when I have seen so little of the world? 
       How can I make a decision that will alter the rest of my life, when I don't even know what's out there for me? I cannot not do that, because I know if I do, I will never be at peace as I wonder, What could have been? So I'm going to go and take a chance with my life, I'm not going to pursue anything but happiness, unlike so much of this world.
      I'm going to do my best to stand out and inspire, yes I will do things that make me unhappy, it's part of life, it's healthy. Why is it healthy? I get to learn, learn what I don't like, for the future. I could go to college immediately following school, but I won't. Instead I'm gonna go out on the limb, and learn about the world around me.
      I have so much in mind, but I have nowhere near enough experience to decide if those are right for me. How could I? I'm seventeen, I don't know where I want to be in 10 years, or what will satisfy me. Everyone is in search for instant gratification, so they find it through, money, prestige, and education. Not that bliss impossible to find earlier on, I just feel so many people overlook it.
       Real gratification lies in passion, and happiness, are you passionate about what you do? Do you really enjoy your job or career? That's something I need in my life, and I think everyone deserves. So I will wait to make the choice that sets me up for the rest of my life.
       All I'm asking is do something that truly makes you happy, NOTHING is impossible. Aspire to make an art out of what you love, well if you suck, maybe it's not the right choice. You ned talent and  to enjoy it, find that happy median and you're good. 
       Not every person will find absolute gratification from there job,  but so many people can come so much closer. It absolutely kills me inside to see someone so discontent with their career. It's been forged in our brain that money holds higher value than happiness, I feel discomforted just thinking about it.
      I'm not saying I'll be the guy who jumps with indefinite joy getting up for work, but I can't have a career that makes me unhappy. I must work at something I enjoy, and am passionate about. That's how you make a difference, just allow your passion to be the absolute drive behind you.
       You could be the most richest man in the world, but if there is no passion behind your motives you won't be remembered. At least not how you wish to be remembered. You never know what could happen, just make sure your ready to leave this world at any moment. Be at peace with mistakes, and use them to help yourself and others.
      That's how you get remembered, I'll never be famous, but if just one person remembers some inspiring words I may have shared with them. Well, I couldn't imagine any better way to be remembered. That's how I want to be remember, it puts my body at peace to think about it.
       Do you do enough to bring you to peace? It could be whatever you please, because if you work hard enough at it and aspire to become something, you get far. Nothing is impossible, just find the passion inside of you.
       
   

Meaning Behind My Words


I’m beginning to apply myself as I venture out into this world alone
I plead my soul persist on this pursuit of a serene reaction
When clouded by emotions my mind struggles to condone
Only after my introspection has settled may I choose to take action
Searching endlessly for the avenue of this world, that remains unknown
May my weaknesses guide me, and provide my sanity unfathomable traction

In life troubles will always exist, their abundance, often unable comprehend
My essence fortunate, for this alone resides my isolated strife
To these troubles will my thoughts depart and perpetually extend
This concept will preserver, hard to grasp, my mind molded increasingly fife
For it strengthens my internal compass until my wit falls to its end
Bittersweet to ponder at times, imagine being sculpted by a dull knife

I choose to take record of the moment; I don’t feel it essential to retain
They say don’t make the same mistake twice, duly noted is every feeling
These words here for reference, I need not to relive the pain
With every article may I continue, I’m evolving into a blissful being
In every submission I know I will be able to find a gain
For when I am lost they lay my problems out entirely for viewing

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Keeping Myself At Bay

By a heavy heart and tireless mind, may I always abide
Emotions can trigger an explosive reaction within
A raging fire consuming all that lies available
Fed by a substantial anger remaining so profound
I'm at a constant battle to stay placid and move in stride
Happiness and hope show me to raise my chin
They overcome me and I'm granted a feeling that is stable
Boldly peace yells out making the most joyous sound

I have a gifted ability to recall upon the good
When time begins to slow I am able to observe
My surrounding drawn in and accurately noted
The truth I never wish to distort
Constantly I try to reenact things like I should
I search to find what lays hidden in reserve
With my thoughts I become so bloated
With my poems my scary thoughts depart and I find comfort